But what REALLY matters is that my friend recommended me and put her reputation on the line to get me hired. Since she was so valued at the company, her recommendation carried a lot of weight. There was no job listing on the website or Monster.com. They created it for me, and the compensation was essentially “whatever.”
By the way, what did she get out of it?
Ask yourself this: If I was a loser with no skills who wouldn’t show up on time and did sub-standard work, would she have referred me?
OF COURSE NOT! Instead, she knew I would do an awesome job…so when she referred me, she actually got social value from introducing me and fighting for me to get the job.
Read that last line, as it’s critical. If you are a top performer, VIPs WANT you to succeed, and will actually send you job opportunities and recommendations…because it’s in THEIR interest to do so.
This flies in the face of what most people think (“Why would a VIP want to help ME?? Waa…). Your network can be incredibly powerful. In this case, I never would have received this opportunity — let alone the compensation I did — if I had gone through traditional channels, like the typical resume Black Hole of Doom like everyone else.
The takeaway: Our networks can actually be MORE important than the years of experience we have.
“Waa! But Ramit…”
Right now, many of us are thinking, “Well that’s great Ramit, you jackass, but I don’t have friends who can make a call and get me a job. I didn’t go to the same college. I don’t live in NYC or the Bay Area. I don’t have the same eyebrows you do.”
These invisible scripts and reactions are normal. Of course we feel betrayed and skeptical when someone tells us we’ve been sitting on a potential goldmine and we haven’t done anything with it. Can it really be that easy? Why wouldn’t everyone do that?
I want to be crystal clear about two things.
1. Building a powerful network is not easy. If you want something easy, go find some stupid blog that posts Top 10 Career Tips for Success!
My students work harder than ordinary people, but they also get massively disproportionate rewards. For example, if the average person spends 1 hour a week sending their resumes out, my students will spend 3…but they’ll get 10x the response rate. That’s what I call disproportionate results.
2. Building your network is not about sending a fake email to someone, pretending to be interested in them, then asking for a job. If that is your goal, leave. Building real relationships is about investing in them first, figuring out what they want and love, and then helping them get it — NOT instantly expecting a magical job offer. In fact, most of the “networking” you do will simply be helping people and getting nothing back in return. If this makes you uncomfortable and you want a 1-for-1 ROI on your work, leave.
When you change your mentality about networking, understanding that it’s about adding value instead of extracting it, you will see massive changes in your life. I won’t just tell you this — I’ll show you.
I recently asked my students what they’ve learned about their network — and the results they’ve gotten from using my material on natural networking.
“He replied in less than 3 minutes”
Hey Ramit, I’ve been using your networking scripts ever since you posted them on your blog a few weeks ago. After 4 rejections and many non-replies (at other companies), I have scheduled an informational interview with a finance manager at [MASSIVE SOFTWARE COMPANY]. I used my alumni connections through my university to reach him – I wrote an email using the basic elements of your scripts and he literally replied in less than 3 minutes! -Anand P.
“I have learned years worth of material in a few hours using the…scripts”
The Natural Networking module is worth the cost of the entire Dream Job course by itself. I have learned years worth of material in a few hours just by using the Natural Networking scripts to talk to experts in my industry. I have emailed 10 experts and have talked to 9. Each person gave me great advice to step career to a new level. -Gopi M.
“…Completely natural and honest”
Ramit, I used your networking email script and it worked! The first email got me an informational interview with the president of a powerful local marketing agency. I also scored an informational interview with a high-level executive from a popular TV and print media empire. All of it felt completely natural and honest. People seem relieved that I am up front, have no angles, and understand that they are busy. And they seem to enjoy being useful, so we all benefit! – Andrea P.
Notice how these are win-win for everyone. You’re not taking advantage of anyone. You’re not scamming people (a common invisible script when it comes to building your network). What you ARE doing is adding value first…even if you don’t have money or valuable connections. In fact, later I cover exactly how a no-name 20-something can add specific value to a VIP.)
But for now, I’m going to give you one of the crucial ways you can continue adding value that almost nobody does. For the first time publicly, I’ll show you the exact word-for-word script to use to use your network in an ethical, non-sleazy way — straight from my Find Your Dream Job course.
Introducing the “Closing the Loop” Technique
First, if you’re curious about how to actually get the attention of VIPs, you DON’T have to do THIS:
I sent this to the person he talks about in the last paragraph. She asked if I was going to meet him. I said I was afraid he was going to wear my skin as a jacket.
You do not have to be creepy!! For the first time, I understand what it feels like to be a woman above the age of 13.
Notice that in the second paragraph, he actually acknowledges that he should focus on ME (the busy person)…and then he does exactly the opposite!
No, no, no. If I ever find out one of you sends an email like this, I will find you, fly out to meet you (I have a lot of free time), and kill you myself. Jackasses.
You can start by focusing on simply sending a “Hey, I noticed you’re doing really interesting stuff” note. I started doing this in high school. I would be reading a magazine and see an interesting piece about somebody doing something cool. I would just send them an email saying, “Hey I read about you in Wired. That is really cool, and I’ll be following your work.” It turns out that even after being covered in national press, most people don’t get nice emails like that where the person emailing doesn’t want something from them.
Later, in college, I would find interesting professors and email them to ask them more about their work. Usually, they would tell me to visit them at office hours, and that’s how I got lots of mentors and advisors. (One key thing you can ask in meetings with VIPs is: “Who else should I be talking to?” If you’ve impressed them, they won’t just suggest people — they’ll often introduce you themselves.)
Let’s say you’re interested in the fashion world. You want to become a designer. Where should you start?
Would you email Calvin Klein? No, a top-tier designer gets hundreds of emails a day from people wanting things from them.
Start with someone more approachable — perhaps a fashion blogger, or a freelance writer. They know the space, have connections, and can help you understand the lay of the land. Notice that this is the hard work I talked about. If it were simply as easy as emailing Calvin Klein (or whoever) to get a meeting, everyone would do it.
I’ve covered the exact word-for-word script to connect with VIPs.
But once you’ve connected with someone you admire — whether it’s via email, phone, or best of all, a coffee meeting — what’s the secret to turning that one-time meeting into an ongoing relationship?
The “secret” is following up — in the right way.
See, the biggest mistake people make when networking is simply not doing it.
But the second-biggest mistake is NOT FOLLOWING UP. Do you know how many people have asked me out to coffee, taken 30 minutes of time to “pick my brain”…then I never hear from them again? I didn’t want a one-night stand! I wanted commitment!! Again I feel like a woman.
What does a VIP want from someone who asks for his advice? He doesn’t need your money or introductions. He already has those.
A VIP wants to know that you listened to his advice and actually followed through.
Think about it: If I meet with someone, and they write back saying, “Hey Ramit, thanks for the time, and thanks especially for pointing out that [GENIUS POINT I MADE]. I took what you said and reached out to Beth Jones and Mike Smith and found out [AMAZING ACCOMPLISHMENT]. That helped me get a $3,000 raise and also get Fridays off”…
THAT is worth more than any amount of money he could give me. And it’s the first step to building a relationship.
If you’re going to meet a VIP, whether it’s over the phone, via email, or in person, why go to all that trouble…and then drop the ball by not following up?
I’ll tell you why: Because when we talk to a VIP, in the back of our heads, we have a voice whispering, “There’s no way I can help this guy. He has more money than I do…a bigger email list…he knows way more about (whatever) than I do…I should just get his advice and then not bug him again.”
This is exactly the WRONG approach to take.
And yet this is what everyone does. If you believe you’re being a nuisance to the person, you will be a nuisance. The truth is, busy people are desperate to mentor and help other people who are going to take action. Unfortunately, the vast majority of people will not follow up on what busy people say.
